Warped sayings
Submitted by ellen on Thu, 11/24/2005 - 8:59pm
I like saying something slightly different from what people ordinarily expect and seeing if they notice the difference. A sort-of example is when, as a kid, I asked my mother if chocolate milk came from brown chickens, and she replied, no, they come from regular chickens.
Here are some sayings from my (nominally) adult household:
- Cleaner than a baby's bottom
- I feel like a needle between two haystacks.
- More fun than a bowel full of monkeys
I welcome additions.
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words that should be there.
I worked in a roofing supply store. One of our drivers would
say "I brang back 3 rolls." I'd say "No you brought them"
He'd say "Yeah I brang em." It does have a zing to it.
underminded
My friend Jules always had some oddments to his language.
"that was an underminded thing to do."
narniaman
When my son was young, and while playing he would push me onto the couch and I would exaggerate my fall backwards, he would dust off his hands and say, "That takes care of you for a lesson."
Purposefully Warped
I have, on occasion, said "Blast you" instead of "Bless you", on purpose.
Messed mixaphors
See also "messed mixaphors" at http://www.esmerel.com/circle/wordlore/.
Well, here's one, "If you
Well, here's one, "If you want something done right, you gotta clone yourself." Or, saying robetussin after people sneeze. I got a couple good laughs out of that one.
More! More!
Great way to start the day!
Twists on Words
I must confess that in a moment of shorn exasperation, exhaustion, and stress... I apologized to someone for getting my tords wisted...... Can't even remember the original mistaken order, but that phrase seared my mammary.
Makes me giggle
"He’s not the brightest tool in the shed."
"He’s not the sharpest crayon in the box."
"He’s a chip off the ol’ shoulder."
"Whatever tickles your pickle."
When someone coughs
"Gesundheit"
I love when people use the expression ‘no the other left/right.’
From a former coworker
We'll drive off that bridge when we come to it.
Recently heard
I recently heard "green behind the ears."
another one
He didn't bash an eyelid.
Here's a few I
Here's a few I use:
on simple problems :
"It's not rocket surgery...."
sneezes
It took about 3 years of living with my ex-roommate before I realized she was not saying 'bless you' after I sneezed, but rather 'life to you'. i like that one.
hahaha
My friend once said "we're gonna bite that in the bullet" when he meant "nip in the bud" in front of a room full of students.
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