In early 2007, I started reading my now-favorite cartoon, xkcd: a webcomic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language. It's geeky, playful, and whimsical. Some of the cartoons are only decipherable to computer scientists, but others have broader appeal, such as:

In February (2007), I sent a fan letter to the cartoonist, Randall Munroe, letting him know he has lots of fans at Google. His cartoons are frequently posted in halls or on internal email lists. I asked if he would be willing to give a talk at the Mountain View headquarters. He said he had no plans to visit California but would let me know if that changed.

On November 29, he emailed me to let me know that he'd be in the area the following week and would be happy to visit Google. Woot! I contacted the author events team, which scrambled to make arrangements, including trying to find a room big enough for his many enthusiastic Googler fans, and settled on Friday, December 7.

Randall had written about Google in his cartoons, such as:

We decided we needed to present him with an Internet-themed cake, made by ever indulgent food team:

Because Google was having a holiday party on the night of his talk, I tried to get a pair of last minute tickets so I could take him. (Googlers are allowed to bring one guest, a phenomenon that has led to date requests on craigslist and facebook.)

I was unable to get a pair of tickets, so I posted to an employee list asking if anyone had a spare guest ticket and wanted to take Randall. I quickly got eager female takers. One female engineer said it was like asking if anyone wanted a date with Johnny Depp. Google women had been particular fans of xkcd since this cartoon circulated on an internal women's mailing list:

Computer science legend Donald Knuth appeared in some xkcd cartoons:

I was acquainted with Knuth and knew that he had a sense of humor (his first publication was in Mad Magazine), so I invited him to attend the talk and lunch afterwards. Knuth notoriously doesn't use email, so I tried multiple channels to get the message to him and was delighted when I received the reply "Sounds like fun" via his assistant's email address. (I did the engineer's victory dance, which my initially startled colleagues agreed was justified.) I encouraged Knuth to surprise Randall by asking about the following cartoon during the talk's Q&A period:

Here's a photo of me conspiring with Knuth the day of the event:

(The picture was taken by the famous Meng, who also got a photo with Knuth.)

Two days before the talk, xkcd ran its first cartoon about the programming language Python:

Randall didn't realize it, but the creator of Python, Guido van Rossum, worked at Google, so I encouraged Guido to attend and ask a question at Randall's talk and invited him on a group bike ride to be held later in the day.

Meanwhile, Chris Dibona, Google's Open Source Product Manager and generally cool guy, and his team created a t-shirt to hand out at the event, with the above Google cartoon and its date and geographical coordinates (in reference to this cartoon and subsequent events).

The day of the event, everything went smoothly. Director of Research Peter Norvig, himself a very funny guy (and my manager) introduced the talk, which was recorded for later posting to YouTube and telecast to Google offices across the Western hemisphere.

I won't say much about the talk, since you can view it online. Randall was appropriately impressed by Knuth [21:30], although he didn't recognize Guido van Rossum [19:16]. (I didn't have any responsibilities during the talk, although you can see me ducking across the stage at 39:02 to pull up a relevant cartoon.)

A Googler asked Randall to create a Google logo in xkcd style, which he did with aplomb [52:40]:

After the talk, people ate cake and chatted with Randall, until he was whisked off to lunch.

After lunch, a bunch of us went on a ride on Google's conference bike:

From the left going clockwise are my husband Keith, Maria (Randall's holiday party host), Randall's friend Fizz, Randall, Guido van Rossum, and me. With Guido's able leadership, we achieved a speed of 13 miles per hour:

Then, old-timer Tom Nielsen and I took Randall and Fizz on a tour, including a stop at a metronaps pod:

Randall gallantly held two one-hour autograph sessions, during which he was kept busy. One of his most-posted cartoons at Google is:

The below photo shows Randall signing a Google version of the poster (referencing map-reduce), with Tom in the background:

At the end of the day, I handed Randall off to Maria, who took him to the Holiday Party, where he was approached by many Googlers. (See, for example, "http://www.flickr.com/photos/rivviepop/2095234153/", showing him with a Googler who apparently had him sign her collarbone.)

In summary, it was a great (but exhausting) day, and I think Randall is a great guy. I'm glad I got to meet him, and I hope he had half as much fun as we did.

This would be a good time to remind people that, while I work for Google, I do not speak for the company, and all of the above opinions are my own. Per company policy, I only posted photos taken in the Googleplex after getting approval. Many other Googlers made the talk happen and go smoothly, and my account of my experience is not meant to diminish others' contributions. (I now appreciate the hard work done by the Authors@Google team more than ever.) No electrons were harmed in this posting.

[After watching our nieces play with a Wii]

Ellen: Apparently, the physics simulation on the Wii is so advanced that it's even more accurate than real life.

[Discussing the week's news]

Ellen: Hillary Clinton criticized Barack Obama for trying drugs when he was younger.

Keith: As opposed to trying them but not inhaling?

[On a Chicago Hauntings Tour that our niece wanted to attend; we are more skeptical]

Tour guide: Signs of haunting include lights turning on and off, unexplained noises, broken glass...

Keith (sotte voce to Ellen): Sudden appearances of baseballs.

[Ellen and Keith with their nieces]

Ellen: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It has great food ... but no atmosphere.

Niece: I thought it would have lots of dairy.

Keith: From cows jumping over the moon?

Ellen: Or ground beef from the ones who didn't make it.

The above is the headline from a real New York Post article (assuming that it's not a contradiction in terms).

On a less grisly note, I liked when Tina Turner was a guest on Letterman, and he gave her a tuna turner.

Both from Consumerist:

• According to Reuters, an Australian department store directed its Santa Claus 'to say "ha ha ha" because the word "ho," which is American slang for whore, could offend women, media reported'.
• McDonald's and other fast-food restaurants have long given coupons to students who earn good grades, which was bad enough, but now McDonald's advertisements are being printed on report cards.

Via Consumerist

Happy Hannukah!

Via SPIKE:

George Lucas has digitally re-mastered and restored the American classic Singin' In the Rain. The way Gene Kelly originally intended it.

Defective Yeti's Cliche Rotation Project seeks new versions of old cliches. Here are some of my favorites:

Old: The blind leading the blind
New: Enrolled in the Paris and Nicole Academy

Old: Don't take any wooden nickels
New: Don't mistake eggs for oysters

Old: Looks a gift horse in the mouth
New: Wants birthday cake on Christmas

Old: Nice guys finish last
New: No one remembers Ivan the Wonderful

Old: Killing two birds with one stone
New: Feeding two birds with one scone

Old: All the tea in China
New: All the porn on the internet

Old: Stuck out like a sore thumb
New: Stood out like a miniskirt in a monastery

I saw the headline "Scientists discover, kill oldest creature" not in The Onion but in the newspaper. From The Guardian Online (Oct. 29):

A clam that lived on the seabed in the frigid waters off Iceland's north coast has been hailed as the longest-lived animal ever discovered.

The mollusc, which is thought to have lurked beneath the waves until at least the age of 405, would have been a juvenile when Galileo picked up his first telescope, Hamlet was first staged and the gunpowder plot failed to blow up King James I....

The clam was alive when it was brought to the surface, but at that point, the researchers had no idea how old it was. Only after cutting through the shell and counting annual growth rings under a microscope did they date the mollusc to between 405 to 410 years old.

This reminds me of Terry Pratchett's fictional counting pines:

Counting pines are one of the few known examples of 'borrowed evolution'. A counting pine seed coming to rest anywhere on the Disc picks up the most effective genetic code, and grows into whatever best suits the climate, usually usurping the local plants.

The other notable feature of this remarkable plant is that it produces, at eye-height, numbers detailing its precise age. Its chain of reasoning is as follows; being dimly aware that humans can tell a tree's age by counting its rings, it has reasoned this must be why humans cut trees down.

Unfortunately, within a year they were driven almost to extinction by the house number-plate industry.

It also brings to mind this joke:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

According to The Consumerist, ratings plummeted for the TV show Desperate Housewives after high definition television (HDTV) "let viewers see the stars' wrinkles and age-lines in true detail". Fortunately, technology has a cure for the problems wrought by technology: airbrushes, now being used to precisely apply make-up and cover any imperfections. (I consider this the greatest use of technology to counter technology since the snooze alarm neutralized the alarm clock.)

This problem was reported on back in 1996 by The (British) Independent:

Greater clarity means viewers get a much better look at faces that for years appeared flawless. In the United States, where the images have already begun beaming, previously unseen spots, blemishes and crow's feet are being highlighted on visages, prompting outbreaks of fury and talk of legal action against commentators who have ridiculed celebrities over their looks....

"For the last few weeks in our make-up department we've started experimenting with make-up for HDTV," said Ms Gerbeau. "One of the big things is we've been using an airbrush to apply the foundation, which looks like a dentist's drill. It's like being a canvas that's spray painted, but the idea is that it gives a natural, uniform look to the complexion of the presenters."

All of this is good news for the cosmetics companies. Clinique has launched a line of products for television firms that will also be released on the general market. Dr David Orentreich, a dermatologist for Clinique, said that advance orders were already coming in for the company's "HDTV kit", which includes a "pore minimiser", "colour correctors" and an "anti-oxidant rescue serum"....

Other presenters are reported to be requesting "Botox budgets" on their expense accounts and contributions towards facial peels. They are doing so largely as a result of what has happened in the US. There, celebrities ranging from Desperate Housewives actress Teri Hatcher to pop star Britney Spears have been slaughtered over their "real" appearance. One commentator, Phillip Swann, has become a pseudo celebrity in his own right for highlighting HDTV horrors on his cult website, www.tvpredictions.com.

I continue to be happy with a twenty-something inch analog TV set.

After toy-maker RC2's recall of lead-tainted Thomas & Friends toys, customers received an apology and a bonus gift, which has since been recalled for lead contamination.

Consumerist, which ran the story, comments: "That's pathetic. Maybe the apology toys for these ones will contain polio.".

(Thanks, Kevin Godby.)