[I realize this doesn't fit in the Beyond Satire theme. Consider this our holiday present to you.]

Children have been clamoring for Floam™, a micro-beaded modeling clay that has been heavily and attractively advertised. Unfortunately, people who have ordered Floam™ report long delays and deceptive business practices. Instead, make your own Floam™-like clay in whatever quantities and colors you like.

We found several anonymous recipes online. My husband Keith Golden tried three different recipes, then refined the best one. The result is virtually identical to Floam™ (except for smelling better). My major contribution was tracking down the polystyrene beads. (Note that the text on this site is covered by a Creative Commons license permitting reproduction with attribution for non-commercial purposes.)

Ingredients

• 2 tsp. borax (available in laundry aisle at your grocery store)
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/4 cup white glue (we used Elmer's)
• 1/4 cup water
• food coloring (otherwise it will look like cottage cheese)
• an air-tight plastic bag (for mixing and storage)
• 5/3 cups of polystyrene beads (we used 2/3 cups micro-beads and 1 cup bean bag filler)

Floam™ is made with polystyrene (aka Styrofoam™) beads ranging in size from about 1 mm to 1/8 inch in diameter. You can make an approximation of the beads at home by grating polystyrene cups, packing material etc., although we did not try this. We bought two different types of beads:

• Micro-beads (about 1 mm in diameter), which we found at a Jo-Ann Fabrics & Crafts store. We had to call several stores before finding one that sold them. They can be ordered from Roseann's Dolls.
• 1/8" beads, sometimes called "milk bottle filler" or "bean bag filler", which we bought on eBay but you can also buy through Roseann's Dolls.

Instructions

1. Dissolve 2 tsp. borax completely in 1/2 cup (4 oz.) water. Set aside.
2. In a separate bowl mix 1/4 cup (2 oz.) white glue and 1/4 cup (2 oz.) water. Optionally add food coloring.
3. Pour the glue solution into the air-tight bag. Then add 3 tbsp. (9 tsp.) of the borax/water solution to the glue solution. Do not mix them yet. You will have some borax/water solution left for another batch.
4. Add the polystyrene beads.
5. Seal bag and knead by hand until thoroughly mixed. Let stand about 15 minutes, and then knead a few minutes more.

This should produce a hard clay well suited for sculpting; for a more malleable clay, use fewer beads and optionally less of the borax solution.

Notes

• The polystyrene beads will get everywhere.
• We read but did not try this tip: "If you have access to a chemical supply house, try a 4% solution of polyvinyl alcohol instead of glue for a less rubbery polymer. It will be more transparent & show off color better." Simon Quellen Field added: "Polyvinyl alcohol is easy to get: It's used in artificial tears (and of course, white glue). On that web site you will find a hundred or so synonyms -- looking them up will likely get you better prices."
• You can read safety information about borax.
• The main difference we could detect between this and Floam™ is that ours smells like glue, while theirs smells like stinky chemicals.
• Do not eat or taunt.

If you make some and have photos or suggestions, we'd be happy to post or link to them.

Update (January 7, 2006)

Some commenters have reported problems with this recipe. If the recipe worked for you, could you reply, so I get an idea whether this works for most people. It would also be great if you have any advice for the people having problems.

Update (January 8, 2006)

We added some details to the instructions, such as that the two solutions should not be mixed together in step 3. (They are mixed in step 5.)

Update (January 15, 2006)

Readers have reported problems when using "PVA glue" but success when using glue that lists "PVA alcohol" as an ingredient.

Update (April 24, 2006)

In December, I tried buying beads over ebay from 246daisy246. I never received the beads, and she got nasty when I asked to see the proof of delivery she claimed to have. I only got a refund after complaining to PayPal. I believe she has been posting misleading comments recommending herself. I replied to the first and have been deleting the rest.

Update (May 20, 2006)

Today I disabled further comments on this article. While there have been some excellent comments, there have also been many flames and spam I've had to delete, especially from sleazy ebayers. I repeat my recommendation not to buy floam beads (or anything else) from 246daisy246.

Update (June 15, 2006)

Snarlia sent me a link to her helpful information on making floam, including where to buy the ingredients.